What Ought To Be
by Our Brightest Stars
Summary: What ought to be, isn't always what will be. Tsunayoshi Sawada ought to be only child and Ietsune Sawada ought to not exist, but she's there and she's his twin... There's no use fight what you can't control, only work with it until you can wrangle out a compromise. [Tumblr Request. Twin AU. SI!OC. Drabble. Non-Mafia!Iemitsu. Pairings undecided.]


**What Ought to Be**

* * *

 **Alone.**

* * *

She didn't deserve this. She wasn't worth having a second chance, not after she had thrown the first away like she had. But what ought to be isn't always what will be, and she was here. Alone. Well, not exactly _alone_ as in there was no one else here, but _alone_ in the sense of that she was the only one [from that life].

Things were different now. While she was still a sister — _and how it pained her to think of that word_ — her sibling was a brother this time. While she was still the eldest, they were twins. While she was still a girl, she no longer had the same body she once had.

She didn't cry, but Ietsune Sawada agonized over her situation for far longer than what had been probably wise. Because when one was alone, there was nothing to stop them from falling into a cycle of depression of their own making.

Nothing except another person. It took her a long time to realize that, to stop ignoring who had been beside her since the beginning. To let someone else in, much like she had with Ka — _That Girl_.

Perhaps, it was because his presence was so much _like_ That Girl's.

Perhaps, it was because he was _different_ from That Girl.

 _Perhaps_ , it was because he was a little bit of _both_.

* * *

 **Tsuna.**

* * *

She fell in love with his doe-like brown eyes first, gazing at her all dewy and clouded, rather mournful looking for a baby.

She loved it when he crawled up to her and clutched her close, snuffling softly into her honey-blonde hair.

She loved it when he pressed his little baby toes into her knee joint in a bid for warmth and when his little chubby fingers gripped her clothes hem.

She loved his soft cloud of hair, downy and wayward as it stuck out like a little plume of caramel feathers.

She loved his faint and sweet scent that all little babies seem to possess.

She loved listening to his heartbeat and muted coos.

Ietsune loved Tsunayoshi.

* * *

 **Inseparable.**

* * *

Ietsune was completely wrapped around her brother's little finger, helplessly toddling after him wherever he went, always keeping him in her line of sight or within hearing range. She's the first to notice him, appearing or disappearing. She's the last to part with him at night; only to be the first to rejoin with him, a little later that same night, to crawl in bed next to him.

If her parents noticed this habit, they mentioned nothing about it, beyond the occasional coo of how precious (attached) their children were.

* * *

 **Protector.**

* * *

She makes it her mission to ensure his happiness and welfare. If something were to scare him (like, say, the neighbors' dog), she makes sure to scare _it_ away. If someone were to pick on him or so much as look at him sideways, she's there to make sure that they run with their tails between their legs like the dogs they were. That's _her_ baby brother, and she won't tolerate any grievances (perceived or otherwise) against him. Anything, or anyone for that matter, that wished ill on him, faced her merciless and violent wrath, swift and strong in its assault.

Nana and Iemitsu merely thought it was adorable and did nothing to discourage her, the Young Lion of Vongola even going so far as to say, "Perhaps we should have named you 'Ichigo', Tsune-chan! With you around, we don't have to worry about anything bad happening to Tsuna-chan."

Then Ietsune bit him because he used the cutesy honorfic with her brother.

* * *

 **Dread.**

* * *

She didn't know why she felt this way, but every time she looked at the boss that Iemitsu brought home, Ietsune only felt a gut-dropping sense of utter apprehension and this feeling of foreboding. Like something terrible was about to happen, was just _waiting_ to happen.

She bristled and growled as threateningly as she could manage in every instance the old geezer so much a glanced towards Tsuna's direction. Delivered a 'Stare of Warning' straight into his eyes when he looked at her — _glaring him down and internally promising all manners of death if he so much as lay a_ finger _on Tsuna_ — until he frowned uncomfortably and turned back to her parents. And always placed herself between her little brother and the old man if the three of them were in the same room, always ushering her twin elsewhere and anywhere away from the Threat.

Ietsune knew that he knew that she was onto him, that she didn't buy whatever ruse he was attempting to use. And the both of them knew that her behavior was starting to tip off her father that All Is Not Well. It would only be a matter of time before the old man showed his true colors, and Ietsune would be more than ready to protect her and hers.

* * *

 **Terror.**

* * *

Nothing had prepared her for this, the all-consuming fear of seeing the look on that old man's face as he extended his pointer finger, _his_ on fire _pointer finger_ , towards Tsuna's forehead while the younger boy looked up in pained confusion, tears slipping down his cheeks as he clutched the bite on his arm.

She had sensed her twin's flare of distress when that neighbor's new puppy (the nippy one) snuck into their backyard; it was friendly but excitable and hadn't been trained not to bite. Ietsune scared the puppy away with a furious snarl the moment her little brother started wailing, before comforting Tsuna as much as she had been able, wiping away the small droplets of blood and the tears. Iemitsu had rushed to get a first aid kit, leaving the two of them alone with his boss…

A [Mafia] boss who had looked down at Tsuna with a gaze that sent shudders of terror down Ietsune's spine as he muttered, "This boy has power; however, it is still young. If it's dealt with now, it won't be a problem later."

Because, in the end, Tsunayoshi was an incarnation of Giotto, himself, and with flames that pure, the Ninth couldn't help but feel threatened by this. He wanted one of his own sons to be the next heir, his own line to continue. And to do that, one must ensure that the competition wouldn't even be in the equation in the first place.

* * *

 **Fire.**

* * *

It was never any question the lengths she would go for Tsuna, even if it meant attacking the scary adult in front of her with fire in his hands. So, she shoved her twin to the side and made to smack the hand away, because she didn't make idle promises. The old man might not have laid that finger on Tsuna yet, but this was a preemptive measure. _She would kill him with her own toddler hands_.

And then there was fire.

Dark orange with thin streaks of purple as it flared and blurred into existence, her eyes flashing with Intent as she snarled at the Ninth Boss of Vongola. For a moment, he was taken aback by this before that same frown from before crossed his face. "Just like Xanxus, feral to the core with polarized flames like that. You won't let anyone see your smile, will you?"

With a speed and strength belying his old age, a hand clamped onto Ietsune's shoulder while the other pressed a burning finger to her forehead.

And she shrieked.

* * *

 **Burns.**

* * *

It hurts, it hurts, it hurt _hurt_ _ **hurts**_ —

Burning and searing, her own Sky flames are being dampened and smothered by older, colder _(ice, ice, ice cold, so cold, it's molten fire)_ flames, and she feels like she's dying all over again. Drowning in a lake so big it's an ocean and so cold it freezes her stiff and solid, almost corpse-like. She feels this man's frustration, his helplessness, and his resentment like a cold wave of water, dragging her under as it burns her.

 _(She doesn't know who Xanxus is, but she pities him for catching the attention of this cold, cold man.)_

She's dying and she can't die, not yet, not until this man is gone and can no longer touch her baby — _not Tsuna, not her precious baby brother_ — and so she screams louder and fights, all snarls and shrieks of rage, _rage_ , **_rage_**. Because while her Sky flames are being crushed by the old man's own, her Cloud flames flare in response to her Intent, propagating her Sky flames. Bidding her time, even though it's agony and she feels like she's being stretched to the limit as _she freezes and burns_ _ **until there's nothing left**_ —

It stops.

And she is just so thankful, she's sobbing and crying like she hasn't done in so long she can't _remember_ —

And then there's _Tsuna_ , and he might be crying as he clutches her close, but she's just so, so _happy_ to see him one last time and she loves him so, so _much_ and she wants to lay like this forever because now more flames are touching her, but these feel like warmth and love and concern and it's so, so _nice_ …

Ietsune falls asleep in Iemitsu's arms as he quietly tells Timoteo to leave while he takes his family to the clinic and that he wants no trace of the mafia left by the time he gets back.

* * *

 **Shift.**

* * *

She doesn't know what's different, but something definitely is. She can feel it within herself, and she's anxious because it feels like how she was Before, in _That Life_. Distant, muted, bored; it's how she feels too much of the time now. Sometimes it turns into withdrawn, detached, and fatigued, and by then she just so tired of everything around her, that she'll sleep the day away if they let her.

But Tsuna. Kind, wonderful, lovely Tsuna chases away those moments of apathy and dispassion. She loves him and his warm presence, how it chases the cold away and makes her feel that much more alive.

The only thing better than being with Tsuna, is when she's with her twin and with her father, because between the two of them, Ietsune feels like she can do anything and that everything is back to how it was before the old man ruined things. When her family is together, everything is right with the world and while there is a shift in what makes her Ietsune, it's not enough to turn her back into the woman she was Before.


End file.
